Scenes From The Watchtower's Kitchen
Feb. 3rd, 2008 12:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shankieIn case you haven't noticed, I've been going through another un-fun bout of writer's block; I blame moving/family related stress. ::sigh:: But, I'm still writing... bit by bit... little by little... and did manage to finish a little ficlet of a thing.
This could actually be read as a prequel to The Sex Lives of Superheroes if you'd like. It's very silly.
Scenes From The Watchtower's Kitchen
DCAU, JL ensemble; PG-13 for swearing, naked Batman.
711 words, which seems like it should mean something symbolic...
In the Watchtower's kitchen, most of the recently formed Justice League are enjoying root beer floats in the kitchen, listening to Flash ramble on... until Batman arrives to change the subject.
“And then he says to me, ‘it’s not my problem you couldn’t get here before nine!’ and I say, ‘dude, do you even know who you’re talking to here?’ and he just, no lie, slams the door in my face. How rude is that? Two minutes late. Because I was rescuing a busload of Japanese tourists. They’re great, man, I think they kept me there forever taking pictures.” Flash unhappily stirred his straw around in the root beer float, looking at it with his cheek cradled in his hand, leaning heavily on his elbow. “I really wanted that pair of sneakers.”
“There must be another way to get them,” Diana reasonably replied. She pursed her lips around her own straw and noisily sucked at some of the yet unmelted ice cream.
“No, I got different ones. I mean, the other ones would be nice, but I just... have way more sneakers than anyone needs. I used to collect them, my mom threw out boxes full of worn-out shoes when I moved out. I would have kept them but my apartment was too small. No closet space.”
“Why keep them if they’re worn out?” Superman practically inquired. He was dipping his straw in the sweet foam and licking it off like a pre-drinking ritual of an eight-year-old. And somehow still looking somewhat dignified while he was doing it.
“Memories.”
“Memories?”
“Oh yeah. A pair of shoes is so important. You do everything in shoes. I can go through every single pair of sneakers I have and tell you a story.” He shrugged. “Some people scrap-book. I like shoes.” It appeared reasonable enough to them. He did do a lot of running, after all. “Anyway, how did your guys’ days go?”
They didn’t immediately notice Batman enter the room, as nobody ever really does.
Flash reacted first, by slapping his hands against his hands against his cheeks in stunned speechlessness. The assembled looked at him, then at the refridgerator, where Batman was pouring himself a glass of orange juice, chugging it, then pouring another.
That wasn’t unusual. That he was doing it completely naked was the strange part.
“Well I’ll be damned,” Lantern remarked, then nudged Shayera. “You owe me five bucks.”
“For what?”
He coughed pointedly, gestured at his lap, and nodded with a knowing almost-smile.
“OH. That. Well. Right.” She stared at Batman while fishing a bill out of a pocket in her belt. “Not by much.”
“I’d say it’s about the same,” Flash commented, already having moved from shock to unveiled curiosity.
“What are you talking about?” Superman asked innocently, swallowing as he appeared much as the others, to be unable to look away.
Batman continued to ignore them.
“It doesn’t matter. Yours is still the biggest,” Flash assured him.
“My what?”
“Your cock, you fool,” Batman said irritably, finally looking at his audience. Superman blushed and looked scandalized. “Cock! COCK! Damned farm boy. All of you. Think you’d never seen a naked man.”
“I’ve never seen one wearing nothing but a mask,” Flash offered. “Which is, well, you right now. Naked Batman. Anyone have a camera? OW!” He leaned away from Superman and rubbed his arm. “That sure was uncalled for.”
“Farm boy?” Lantern murmured, but nobody was really listening.
“I’ve never seen a naked man,” Diana offered. “Not in person.”
“Wanna touch one? OW OW OW!”
Batman finished his orange juice and strode out, muttering to himself. Everyone watched him leave; Shayera even licked her lips, just a little.
There was silence. Then Green Lantern got up and pushed a button on the intercom.
“J’onn, is there something wrong with Batman?”
“I believe he’s concerned about the after-effects of tangling with Poison Ivy. He warned me about his current lack of inhibitions and not to allow him off the station at present. I was to inform you if there’s any problem..?”
“Not so much a problem. Thanks.”
The information sank in.
Diana stood up.
“I believe I’m going to get some exercise,” she announced.
Everyone watched her leave, followed by another brief silence.
Flash began to snicker. Then they all did; except for Superman. Snickering was undignified.
This could actually be read as a prequel to The Sex Lives of Superheroes if you'd like. It's very silly.
Scenes From The Watchtower's Kitchen
DCAU, JL ensemble; PG-13 for swearing, naked Batman.
711 words, which seems like it should mean something symbolic...
In the Watchtower's kitchen, most of the recently formed Justice League are enjoying root beer floats in the kitchen, listening to Flash ramble on... until Batman arrives to change the subject.
“And then he says to me, ‘it’s not my problem you couldn’t get here before nine!’ and I say, ‘dude, do you even know who you’re talking to here?’ and he just, no lie, slams the door in my face. How rude is that? Two minutes late. Because I was rescuing a busload of Japanese tourists. They’re great, man, I think they kept me there forever taking pictures.” Flash unhappily stirred his straw around in the root beer float, looking at it with his cheek cradled in his hand, leaning heavily on his elbow. “I really wanted that pair of sneakers.”
“There must be another way to get them,” Diana reasonably replied. She pursed her lips around her own straw and noisily sucked at some of the yet unmelted ice cream.
“No, I got different ones. I mean, the other ones would be nice, but I just... have way more sneakers than anyone needs. I used to collect them, my mom threw out boxes full of worn-out shoes when I moved out. I would have kept them but my apartment was too small. No closet space.”
“Why keep them if they’re worn out?” Superman practically inquired. He was dipping his straw in the sweet foam and licking it off like a pre-drinking ritual of an eight-year-old. And somehow still looking somewhat dignified while he was doing it.
“Memories.”
“Memories?”
“Oh yeah. A pair of shoes is so important. You do everything in shoes. I can go through every single pair of sneakers I have and tell you a story.” He shrugged. “Some people scrap-book. I like shoes.” It appeared reasonable enough to them. He did do a lot of running, after all. “Anyway, how did your guys’ days go?”
They didn’t immediately notice Batman enter the room, as nobody ever really does.
Flash reacted first, by slapping his hands against his hands against his cheeks in stunned speechlessness. The assembled looked at him, then at the refridgerator, where Batman was pouring himself a glass of orange juice, chugging it, then pouring another.
That wasn’t unusual. That he was doing it completely naked was the strange part.
“Well I’ll be damned,” Lantern remarked, then nudged Shayera. “You owe me five bucks.”
“For what?”
He coughed pointedly, gestured at his lap, and nodded with a knowing almost-smile.
“OH. That. Well. Right.” She stared at Batman while fishing a bill out of a pocket in her belt. “Not by much.”
“I’d say it’s about the same,” Flash commented, already having moved from shock to unveiled curiosity.
“What are you talking about?” Superman asked innocently, swallowing as he appeared much as the others, to be unable to look away.
Batman continued to ignore them.
“It doesn’t matter. Yours is still the biggest,” Flash assured him.
“My what?”
“Your cock, you fool,” Batman said irritably, finally looking at his audience. Superman blushed and looked scandalized. “Cock! COCK! Damned farm boy. All of you. Think you’d never seen a naked man.”
“I’ve never seen one wearing nothing but a mask,” Flash offered. “Which is, well, you right now. Naked Batman. Anyone have a camera? OW!” He leaned away from Superman and rubbed his arm. “That sure was uncalled for.”
“Farm boy?” Lantern murmured, but nobody was really listening.
“I’ve never seen a naked man,” Diana offered. “Not in person.”
“Wanna touch one? OW OW OW!”
Batman finished his orange juice and strode out, muttering to himself. Everyone watched him leave; Shayera even licked her lips, just a little.
There was silence. Then Green Lantern got up and pushed a button on the intercom.
“J’onn, is there something wrong with Batman?”
“I believe he’s concerned about the after-effects of tangling with Poison Ivy. He warned me about his current lack of inhibitions and not to allow him off the station at present. I was to inform you if there’s any problem..?”
“Not so much a problem. Thanks.”
The information sank in.
Diana stood up.
“I believe I’m going to get some exercise,” she announced.
Everyone watched her leave, followed by another brief silence.
Flash began to snicker. Then they all did; except for Superman. Snickering was undignified.
no subject
on 2008-02-03 06:28 am (UTC)“I’ve never seen a naked man,” Diana offered. “Not in person.”
....sooooo. I now can't stop thinking that Diana watches porn with the Leaguers sometimes. Maybe J'onn. They sit down and watch porn and comment it, maybe. AWESOME.
Naked Batman! inhibited, naked, growly Batman! I love that part of his inhibitions are about not getting too annoyed at people, or something, and he just blows up a bit here. <3 Love!
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on 2008-02-03 06:51 am (UTC)“Wanna touch one? OW OW OW!”
bahahahahah
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on 2008-02-03 07:04 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-02-03 06:59 am (UTC)They sit down and watch porn and comment it, maybe. AWESOME.
SUPER-AWESOME. Now that puts a whole different spin on J'onn's love of movies...
hehehehe.
Thank you! :D
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on 2011-07-22 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-02-03 06:38 am (UTC)Yay! You actually wrote it! Thank you! I love grumpy, naked Bats.
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on 2008-02-03 07:03 am (UTC)How could I not? Irresistible, it was. :D
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on 2008-02-03 07:59 am (UTC)Oh, man this is just too funny. J'onn's part is by far my favorite. Just priceless.
I needed to read something happy and fun. Thank you :D
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on 2008-02-03 09:04 am (UTC)I'm glad I could do that for ya, I sure had fun imagining it up. :)
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on 2008-02-03 10:17 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-02-03 07:46 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-02-03 05:15 pm (UTC)Naked Batman. Anyone have a camera?
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on 2008-02-03 08:10 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-02-03 07:09 pm (UTC)Loved this. ^_^
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on 2008-02-03 08:08 pm (UTC)Thanks! :)
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on 2008-02-04 12:39 am (UTC)It makes me wonder if guys do catcalls at her while groping at themselves, if she just looks at them clinically and asks them to pull it out to see just how 'big' they are.
Also from the story, I'd think that when Diana watches either straight or gay porn, if she views it more like a documentary?
Flash and Bats had the best ones though:
“It doesn’t matter. Yours is still the biggest,” Flash assured him.
“My what?”
“Your cock, you fool,” Batman said irritably, finally looking at his audience. Superman blushed and looked scandalized. “Cock! COCK! Damned farm boy. All of you. Think you’d never seen a naked man."
I really wish Wally had gone after Bats though. Gods that would have been hot. Especially when Wally is seen hours later, gingerly sitting down and walking like John Wayne. :-P
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on 2008-02-04 01:31 am (UTC)I can only imagine she started at 50's sex ed tapes and moved up the ladder to hardcore porn... in fascination. XD
Especially when Wally is seen hours later, gingerly sitting down and walking like John Wayne.
::dies laughing:: Oh my goodness, haha. John Wayne. Trying to play it off. Hee.
The entire time Wally just kept telling me he really wanted to jump Superman, actually. Which is basically why he didn't. I really need to go write porn now, haha
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on 2008-02-05 02:28 pm (UTC)The fact that Wally keeps his worn out shoes for memories? OMFG YES. That made me squee just a little. So very Wally.
And the world needs more Grumpy Naked Batman, makes the world so much better. xD
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on 2008-02-05 09:29 pm (UTC)I used to know someone who did that... long enough ago that I can't at all remember who it was, but, the idea stuck. Especially since I don't actually wear shoes unless I can help it, so that seems like such a weird but understandable thing to me. XD
appartamento vendita
on 2011-03-07 04:53 pm (UTC)