Distressingly, I can totally see Alfred *hosting* a sex party. In Wayne Manor. We must after all keep up Bruce's debaucherous reputation... Bruce makes a perfunctory appearance with a supermodel, takes her up to his room, Roofies her, and sneaks out to Bat-patrol, of course.
But Alfred, wearing not much besides an apron, makes sure the tays of ice and chocolate-covered strawberries and condoms and lube are refilled regularly, acts as dungeon master-host, offers suggestions on which knot to tie someone to the equipment with, and possibly gives a spanking to an honored guest. All without any loss of dignity whatsoever.
How many freaking times does he wear that thing? Or did he have a whole closet full? I can see him doing that, actually. "This closet: twelve identical white three-piece disco suits and matching spread-collar black silky polyester shirts. Next closet: Twelve identical tuxedos. Next closet: Six identical smoking jackets, six identical sportcoats. And so on. He seems to get into these monochrome ruts.
And compared to what he *could* have been wearing at the time, monochrome is not that bad at ALL.
Holy innuendo, Batman! Didn't the editors...well, *edit* this stuff before they allowed through to the impressionable minds of The Youth Of America? (This does explain a lot...)
Okay, now I get the impression that Barry and GL just got through a..er..team work session and now Barry is racing towards Bats for a little extra work out..*cough* because you know speedsters get bored so quickly and the stamina thing. *coughs*
Oh lord.
I am not touching the Alfred thing with a ten-foot Boy Wonder pole.
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no subject
on 2009-07-19 07:40 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-07-19 09:08 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-07-19 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-07-19 11:48 pm (UTC)(So is Alfred, apparently, muahaha)
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on 2009-07-20 01:34 am (UTC)ALFRED? Nonononono... Thinking about Alfred getting some tail is like thinking about your parents doing the same. Argh.
no subject
on 2009-07-20 09:29 am (UTC)But Alfred, wearing not much besides an apron, makes sure the tays of ice and chocolate-covered strawberries and condoms and lube are refilled regularly, acts as dungeon master-host, offers suggestions on which knot to tie someone to the equipment with, and possibly gives a spanking to an honored guest. All without any loss of dignity whatsoever.
no subject
on 2009-07-20 06:54 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-07-20 09:25 am (UTC)How many freaking times does he wear that thing? Or did he have a whole closet full? I can see him doing that, actually. "This closet: twelve identical white three-piece disco suits and matching spread-collar black silky polyester shirts. Next closet: Twelve identical tuxedos. Next closet: Six identical smoking jackets, six identical sportcoats. And so on. He seems to get into these monochrome ruts.
And compared to what he *could* have been wearing at the time, monochrome is not that bad at ALL.
no subject
on 2009-07-20 09:21 am (UTC)Scarlet speedster, scarlet hussy, so very similar.
no subject
on 2009-07-20 03:21 pm (UTC)(This does explain a lot...)
Okay, now I get the impression that Barry and GL just got through a..er..team work session and now Barry is racing towards Bats for a little extra work out..*cough* because you know speedsters get bored so quickly and the stamina thing. *coughs*
Oh lord.
I am not touching the Alfred thing with a ten-foot Boy Wonder pole.
Kyer (ffn)