The Saga of Itty
Jul. 26th, 2009 05:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shankieThis is one of those huge chock-full-o images posts, so dial-up beware! Is anyone still on dial-up? I know I was, and it was.. traumatic. Just... awful. So if you are, I feel your pain, I know the torment of wanting to watch a YouTube video and needing to let it load for upwards of a half-hour if I was lucky enough not to get booted in the meantime. Anyway!
Cuteness! Tentacles! Alien sex! Hal intentionally crashing into a tree! Homoerotic tension with Ollie! Homoerotic tension with Barry! Hal in chains! Hal as a giant! It's all here, and more, in the more-or-less complete story of Hal's little buddy Itty. What is Itty, do you ask? He's one of the Ayries. They look like this:
If you're like me, you may have read through a comic here or there with a starfish-looking flower-thing on Hal's shoulder.. he'd talk to it and I'd wonder wtf without really getting much of an answer, the moment would pass, and I'd forget about the little guy until the next time it happened. But no longer! I am well and truly smitten with this little guy... who for like, over a decade, didn't even have any lines.
See, in The Flash Vol. 1, #240, in the back pages Hal had just fought off some... well, these aliens who wanted to do a reverse Biblical creation story, and one of their acts of destruction was to destroy the Ayries. We'll be seeing some religious zealots bent on destroying them later, but as far as I know? Unrelated groups. Anyway, Hal gets himself a hitchhiker drawn to the energy of the ring, and it's pretty darn lonely in space, so he's all like, "Sure, what the hell. My life can't get much weirder, might as well have someone to talk to about it."
The obvious drawback is how much less imposing you are with a flower-thing sitting on your shoulder.
But soak up the cuteness! Do you see that nuzzling? Has Hal ever or since been his adorable? I think not!
In The Flash #245-#246 back pages, Hal's been fighting off some trees and leaves, at which point Itty is like, "Uh, I'll be over here." This is the first of many acts that have Itty bestowed with far more dignity than Hal in this story.
Yes, nothing but peaceful greenery. Remember when I said he'd spent this whole time fighting all that "peaceful" greenery? Seriously, attacked by trees. I think all those blows to the head have given him brain damage or something.
...and there goes all that dignity...
Did I say all that dignity? There was a little left... but it's gone now. Note Itty bailing on that crazy-train. Also? The Floronic Man is fucking weird. But wait! It gets better!
That's right. Hal's little flower-buddy just saved him with his own power ring. Keep in mind how people like Ollie could barely get that damned thing to work at all... but Itty just fires it off like it's nothing. Was that... a little... badass? I know, I know, that can't be the right word, but it's somewhere near "awesome" and "unexpected" for certain.
SO... what happens when Hal tries to introduce Itty to his fellow Lanterns on Oa?
They don't actually give a shit about Itty, hilarious though that idea may be. No, no, they're all under mind control by this weirdo the Mocker who turns them all against Hal. Including the Guardians; he has to chuck one in a crowd at one point. Really.
Green Lantern #96-99: Stuff happens, more stuff, Ollie shows up, Katma Tui, too, and Ollie takes out his anger on a small, defenseless creature that never did a damned thing to him...
What a dick! And Hal agrees with me!
Yes! Fight for Itty's honour! And then... uh... should we leave you two alone? Katma is obviously intrigued there, and I must admit... yeah, I'd watch. I think it'd be just about, if not far more, entertaining than watching them beat the shit out of each other. I think even Itty is wondering if he'll finally be introduced to the concept of sexual intercourse between those fascinating bipedal Terrans.
OH SNAP! It still doesn't make up for the dickery, however.
"Old sock"? What the fuck? Is that like calling someone "dingy tee-shirt" or "stale bread" or "linty sweater" or something? What-ever. That's not the point!
See? So not Itty's fault! Poor little buddy! He's just a baby, even the weird bug alien knows that, douche! Actually... for a second bug-alien kinda looks like... Bizarro Ollie?
Now, fast-forward a bit to the Flash & Green Lantern: The Brave & The Bold flashback series, #5. This is where I first saw the little guy, so I'll throw it in here for part of our Itty in Hal's Trucker Days era.
Is it me or does Hal come off way "creepy guy at a truck stop" here? It's not just the going on and on to a larval alien that can't respond, it's that and... the stubble... and... a little je ne c'est pas.
That's some reaction. First thought: Itty has to be safe. Second thought: Barge into danger headlong. Because if it's taken out nine Green Lanterns it might end up being a challenge for one Hal Jordan.
They made out on the way back; Itty watched with rapt fascination. (Or so the slash goggles see.) Also?
TRUUUUCKERS INNNNN SPAAAAACE!
As you can see...
...the trucker era continuing right along in Green Lantern #100 is pretty much like that book.
I guess having one sidekick around... two if you count the poorly-nicknamed (and yes, they deal with that, he's cool with it) Pieface... just isn't enough. They throw in Air Wave II, Hal's cousin.
Not only is he smitten with Itty, too... wait, he's Hal Jordan, too? Isn't that a little odd, to give your kid the same name your brother named his kid like, ten years earlier or whatever? In a lot of ways, I feel bad for Little Hal; he's 16, trying to be a superhero, just... mostly being inept, and his instant role model and cousin is... well, he's Hal Jordan.
Very supportive, Hal. I guess I can understand, though... being bugged by a kid when you've got big world-saving shit to do.
Good thing Little Hal romances the hell out of the idea of Big Hal being too busy for him. And, of course, there's Itty to keep him company. I honestly wonder if they thought Little Hal would end up being like a Wally to his Barry or something... if that was the intent it definitely didn't work.
Also? OMG GIANT FACE WTF.
Now... brace yourselves, folks. It gets pretty sad for a bit. #104 reveals that tragedy has struck Carol Ferris's home...
That's a big-ass gravestone for a pet. Then again, Itty could wield a power ring and if Krypto died? Just imagine the monument Clark would erect towering over the Antarctic.
Jeeze, they just all look... so sad! It makes me sad. Even Ollie's all sad. I can just picture Hal sitting in front of the fire with Itty, trying to talk him into coming back to life... ::sniff::
But... is it really the end?
Not so much. Some scientist creates some... purple glowing light... things... and they trigger or just happen to coincide with Itty's body becoming... well, this:
Meanwhile, in #106...
Not only is it going after people and rocks and what-not, Dinah's predicament looks hazardous for so many reasons.
If it wasn't for Sonar's whole... posture and all that in that doorway, there wouldn't be anything dirty about that panel. As it stands? Straight out of a few pornos I've seen.
With this realization, he does a very smart thing and calls up Ray Palmer to help figure it all out; and he does.
An WTF is with Little Hal's self-esteem? He keeps calling himself "Airwave Two" as if he needs permission to be a superhero. In the DCU? Not so much.
"Not now, guys. I know he tried to kill you, but that's really not the issue here."
That's... well. Pretty nuts. And cool. I kind of love it. But we're not done, not by a long shot!
It's not until years later, but what's up with Itty is seen again in Green Lantern Corps Quarterly #5:
He kinda looks like a blue Chemo. You may be thinking he looks nothing like when he was last sighted, but that'll change again. He's found the other Ayries all dead, fended off their remains... then followed the signal.
We learn that the Ayries are just the babies; adults are the Lasma, and the fanatical Laroo with a silly name are in the middle of trying to kill the only other Lasma still alive.
Even gigantic, he still manages to be cute as he wanders into the battle. Oh, Itty.
"Wait, what are you... OH THAT'S AN ORGASM! Suddenly I understand Hal so much better!"
Cutest. Alien. Sex scene. EVAR. I mean, really. He's pretty adorable for a four-thousand-year-old (or something like that).
The Laroo are still after them and the wife's pregnant, so where should they turn? Take a guess. They re-appear in Green Lantern Vol. 3 #43, in the middle of one of Hal's ennui sessions.
Don't argue with the giant blue titan! Deliver his children, tiny man!
After some rather... weirdly sexual stuff for someone giving birth out of their hair, she gives him the run-down on the Laroo being morons and fanatics and all that.
He plays midwife and the babies are born... but the Laroo attack and... rupture the power battery? Hal takes it all in and gets all giant, too!
GIANT HAL LAZOR VISION WILL KEEL YOU!!!!
Until it's all too much and he falls out of the sky into the hands of Itty's wife again.
I totally love Itty's "Oh yays wifey says I did good!" face. He's the cutest giant alien.
I also love Hal's face. He's a daddy now!
Squee! Cuet! Love! And all that. Just... a great end for that whole thing. It's funny, I really like the character and all, but I don't feel that big need to see him pop back up again. Would that be super-neat? Oh sure. But sometimes, the end is just so good that it leaves you with just that right feeling of closure. The giant alien angle is an odd one, sure, but I enjoyed what they did with it, for the most part. And having a good time with something is really the point, isn't it?
Cuteness! Tentacles! Alien sex! Hal intentionally crashing into a tree! Homoerotic tension with Ollie! Homoerotic tension with Barry! Hal in chains! Hal as a giant! It's all here, and more, in the more-or-less complete story of Hal's little buddy Itty. What is Itty, do you ask? He's one of the Ayries. They look like this:
If you're like me, you may have read through a comic here or there with a starfish-looking flower-thing on Hal's shoulder.. he'd talk to it and I'd wonder wtf without really getting much of an answer, the moment would pass, and I'd forget about the little guy until the next time it happened. But no longer! I am well and truly smitten with this little guy... who for like, over a decade, didn't even have any lines.
See, in The Flash Vol. 1, #240, in the back pages Hal had just fought off some... well, these aliens who wanted to do a reverse Biblical creation story, and one of their acts of destruction was to destroy the Ayries. We'll be seeing some religious zealots bent on destroying them later, but as far as I know? Unrelated groups. Anyway, Hal gets himself a hitchhiker drawn to the energy of the ring, and it's pretty darn lonely in space, so he's all like, "Sure, what the hell. My life can't get much weirder, might as well have someone to talk to about it."
The obvious drawback is how much less imposing you are with a flower-thing sitting on your shoulder.
But soak up the cuteness! Do you see that nuzzling? Has Hal ever or since been his adorable? I think not!
In The Flash #245-#246 back pages, Hal's been fighting off some trees and leaves, at which point Itty is like, "Uh, I'll be over here." This is the first of many acts that have Itty bestowed with far more dignity than Hal in this story.
Yes, nothing but peaceful greenery. Remember when I said he'd spent this whole time fighting all that "peaceful" greenery? Seriously, attacked by trees. I think all those blows to the head have given him brain damage or something.
...and there goes all that dignity...
Did I say all that dignity? There was a little left... but it's gone now. Note Itty bailing on that crazy-train. Also? The Floronic Man is fucking weird. But wait! It gets better!
That's right. Hal's little flower-buddy just saved him with his own power ring. Keep in mind how people like Ollie could barely get that damned thing to work at all... but Itty just fires it off like it's nothing. Was that... a little... badass? I know, I know, that can't be the right word, but it's somewhere near "awesome" and "unexpected" for certain.
SO... what happens when Hal tries to introduce Itty to his fellow Lanterns on Oa?
They don't actually give a shit about Itty, hilarious though that idea may be. No, no, they're all under mind control by this weirdo the Mocker who turns them all against Hal. Including the Guardians; he has to chuck one in a crowd at one point. Really.
Green Lantern #96-99: Stuff happens, more stuff, Ollie shows up, Katma Tui, too, and Ollie takes out his anger on a small, defenseless creature that never did a damned thing to him...
What a dick! And Hal agrees with me!
Yes! Fight for Itty's honour! And then... uh... should we leave you two alone? Katma is obviously intrigued there, and I must admit... yeah, I'd watch. I think it'd be just about, if not far more, entertaining than watching them beat the shit out of each other. I think even Itty is wondering if he'll finally be introduced to the concept of sexual intercourse between those fascinating bipedal Terrans.
OH SNAP! It still doesn't make up for the dickery, however.
"Old sock"? What the fuck? Is that like calling someone "dingy tee-shirt" or "stale bread" or "linty sweater" or something? What-ever. That's not the point!
See? So not Itty's fault! Poor little buddy! He's just a baby, even the weird bug alien knows that, douche! Actually... for a second bug-alien kinda looks like... Bizarro Ollie?
Now, fast-forward a bit to the Flash & Green Lantern: The Brave & The Bold flashback series, #5. This is where I first saw the little guy, so I'll throw it in here for part of our Itty in Hal's Trucker Days era.
Is it me or does Hal come off way "creepy guy at a truck stop" here? It's not just the going on and on to a larval alien that can't respond, it's that and... the stubble... and... a little je ne c'est pas.
That's some reaction. First thought: Itty has to be safe. Second thought: Barge into danger headlong. Because if it's taken out nine Green Lanterns it might end up being a challenge for one Hal Jordan.
They made out on the way back; Itty watched with rapt fascination. (Or so the slash goggles see.) Also?
TRUUUUCKERS INNNNN SPAAAAACE!
As you can see...
...the trucker era continuing right along in Green Lantern #100 is pretty much like that book.
I guess having one sidekick around... two if you count the poorly-nicknamed (and yes, they deal with that, he's cool with it) Pieface... just isn't enough. They throw in Air Wave II, Hal's cousin.
Not only is he smitten with Itty, too... wait, he's Hal Jordan, too? Isn't that a little odd, to give your kid the same name your brother named his kid like, ten years earlier or whatever? In a lot of ways, I feel bad for Little Hal; he's 16, trying to be a superhero, just... mostly being inept, and his instant role model and cousin is... well, he's Hal Jordan.
Very supportive, Hal. I guess I can understand, though... being bugged by a kid when you've got big world-saving shit to do.
Good thing Little Hal romances the hell out of the idea of Big Hal being too busy for him. And, of course, there's Itty to keep him company. I honestly wonder if they thought Little Hal would end up being like a Wally to his Barry or something... if that was the intent it definitely didn't work.
Also? OMG GIANT FACE WTF.
Now... brace yourselves, folks. It gets pretty sad for a bit. #104 reveals that tragedy has struck Carol Ferris's home...
That's a big-ass gravestone for a pet. Then again, Itty could wield a power ring and if Krypto died? Just imagine the monument Clark would erect towering over the Antarctic.
Jeeze, they just all look... so sad! It makes me sad. Even Ollie's all sad. I can just picture Hal sitting in front of the fire with Itty, trying to talk him into coming back to life... ::sniff::
But... is it really the end?
Not so much. Some scientist creates some... purple glowing light... things... and they trigger or just happen to coincide with Itty's body becoming... well, this:
Meanwhile, in #106...
Not only is it going after people and rocks and what-not, Dinah's predicament looks hazardous for so many reasons.
If it wasn't for Sonar's whole... posture and all that in that doorway, there wouldn't be anything dirty about that panel. As it stands? Straight out of a few pornos I've seen.
With this realization, he does a very smart thing and calls up Ray Palmer to help figure it all out; and he does.
An WTF is with Little Hal's self-esteem? He keeps calling himself "Airwave Two" as if he needs permission to be a superhero. In the DCU? Not so much.
"Not now, guys. I know he tried to kill you, but that's really not the issue here."
That's... well. Pretty nuts. And cool. I kind of love it. But we're not done, not by a long shot!
It's not until years later, but what's up with Itty is seen again in Green Lantern Corps Quarterly #5:
He kinda looks like a blue Chemo. You may be thinking he looks nothing like when he was last sighted, but that'll change again. He's found the other Ayries all dead, fended off their remains... then followed the signal.
We learn that the Ayries are just the babies; adults are the Lasma, and the fanatical Laroo with a silly name are in the middle of trying to kill the only other Lasma still alive.
Even gigantic, he still manages to be cute as he wanders into the battle. Oh, Itty.
"Wait, what are you... OH THAT'S AN ORGASM! Suddenly I understand Hal so much better!"
Cutest. Alien. Sex scene. EVAR. I mean, really. He's pretty adorable for a four-thousand-year-old (or something like that).
The Laroo are still after them and the wife's pregnant, so where should they turn? Take a guess. They re-appear in Green Lantern Vol. 3 #43, in the middle of one of Hal's ennui sessions.
Don't argue with the giant blue titan! Deliver his children, tiny man!
After some rather... weirdly sexual stuff for someone giving birth out of their hair, she gives him the run-down on the Laroo being morons and fanatics and all that.
He plays midwife and the babies are born... but the Laroo attack and... rupture the power battery? Hal takes it all in and gets all giant, too!
GIANT HAL LAZOR VISION WILL KEEL YOU!!!!
Until it's all too much and he falls out of the sky into the hands of Itty's wife again.
I totally love Itty's "Oh yays wifey says I did good!" face. He's the cutest giant alien.
I also love Hal's face. He's a daddy now!
Squee! Cuet! Love! And all that. Just... a great end for that whole thing. It's funny, I really like the character and all, but I don't feel that big need to see him pop back up again. Would that be super-neat? Oh sure. But sometimes, the end is just so good that it leaves you with just that right feeling of closure. The giant alien angle is an odd one, sure, but I enjoyed what they did with it, for the most part. And having a good time with something is really the point, isn't it?
no subject
on 2009-07-26 06:20 pm (UTC)Never mind the tombstone size--check out the Grand Canyon grave GL dug for his itty-bitty pal! Geez--someone went overboard with the ring.
Also notice how the grave was all bloated and mishappen when Itty was ressurected, yet when GL finds it all the edges are nice and trim? wtf?
I love Itty sex with the WOW and that later scene where I can just hear him say "This looks like a job for SuperItty!" (gotta protect his Lois.)
(Um...just me or does the female look *really* female while Itty is only vaguely humanoid? Male artists did the book, maybe?)
That last scene with Barry in the truck was one of my favorites of the book where he teamed with Hal. Along with it though, was an adorable Wally as Kid Lantern. The only thing that marred that story was the gross stupidity of the writers forgetting something REALLY important when they'd just been telling us over and over how Lantern rings were useless against yellow. Hello! That villain's gun was...orange? Purple? No--golden yellow! Yellow! you idiots! So how exactly did Wally pull that little color miracle off? Would he have been some sort of genius Lantern if Oa hadn't been stupid and picked Stewart instead?
There were other such pieces of oops in that too, but don't recall it just now. I think it was Hal speaking Wally's line and then answering himself. Man is a real ham stealing lines from kids like that.
no subject
on 2009-07-26 09:21 pm (UTC)A few different male artists did that, as it happens, so good call on that!
I've thought about throwing up the little story of Kid Lantern. Just might, it's a fun time, flaws and all. JLI-era comics would teach us he has zip for willpower, but maybe that was just in a bad time... or something. '86-'96 was a rough ten years for him.
Barry's Flash suit
on 2009-07-26 06:32 pm (UTC)And if that isn't confusing enough...
If the entire thing fits into the ring does that mean the ear antennae are made of soft rubber and his boots are more like shaped spandex socks than shoes? Otherwise, how do the soles flatten down like mylar yet still take a beating?
It's stuff like this that makes me think that Jay's 'heavy water' explanation wasn't so weird after all...the whole comix universe is unbelievable.
Good thing they are so gosh darn cute.
Re: Barry's Flash suit
on 2009-07-26 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-07-26 07:41 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-07-26 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-07-26 08:48 pm (UTC)I'm still very new to comics, and every day I learn a little bit more about how completely bizarre and insane the DC fandom really is.
I think I'm going to be very happy here. :D
no subject
on 2009-07-26 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-07-26 11:03 pm (UTC)