Diana, Pirate Captain

[shankie]

So, from Justice League of America 80-Page Giant #1 that's come out so recently, I was delighted to find not only time-travel hijinks with our heroes, but... Steel and Wonder Woman ending up in the most fabulous of time and space locales; a pirate ship back in the day. Like something straight out of my fic, Diana is a pirate captain aiding the downtrodden and accidentally winding up chained up in the hold happens. It starts with an angry John Irons in irons and yes, that made me laugh, because I'm silly.



The art has some iffy moments, but we can only get to those if we continue...



I get that the artist was going for sexy here, but it ends up being a travesty. Why does the entire crew look like their breasts are about to fall out of what little clothing they have? Wouldn't liberated sailor-chicks wear something, oh, I don't know... PRACTICAL? And what the fuck is the deal with that mohawk? What's she using to keep her hair like that, seagull shit? Goddamn. That's not even touching how John looks like Igor in that last panel.

And that comment about them smelling better? Um... yeah. THAT MAKES NO SENSE.



Um. Forget what I said about art problems. They're still there, but I don't even care anymore, because Pirate Captain Wondy is fucking HAWT. DAT BANDANNA. Those boots. Even if I can't for the life of me figure out how she'd get those boots, because they're so not her regular ones I DON'T CARE.



Black Pirate guy grovels a lot. Is he a reference to something? If so, I am ignorant of what. I suspect Diana keeps him around because she's reminded of Bruce, only if he wore purple and lived on a ship to help her with epic crime.

Anyway, tl;dr backstory that I only keep in here because I like that half-face framing on the one side, and the art needs to be redeemed by more than some neat concepts for Diana's bitchin' outfit. My only gripe is she's not wearing a bigass hat with a feather in it, but I can forgive that, because of hair + bandanna action.



I do love a Moby Dick reference, so I like this page. Even if it makes no sense for her to steer the ship that close to jagged rocks that apparently wrecked a ship in trouble once already. That's just asking for trouble on a silver platter.



The reveal of Starro as the bad guy in this made me laugh my ass off for a good five minutes. That's just... so good. Krakens? Bah, pansies. BRING ON THE GIANT STARFISH.



Yeah, that's subtle. Way to be, Diana, not like you might have the key or be able to just break the lock to make it look like you did, since I'm sure at least some of the crew is watching you for orders.



"Ahoy there!" Really. Really, John, you're going to play this like a kid playing pirates vs. ninjas on the playground? Well... Actually, I'm cool with that. Carry on.



As awesome as Diana steering the ship is, shouldn't her Coxswain (or equivalent) be doing that so she's freed up to, oh, I dunno... USE HER FUCKING POWERS TO SAVE HER CREW?

The merman she's got on her prow is a nice touch.



Now I'm real curious as to who that guy is. Why did he float off on wreckage? Did Diana's running straight for a fight with Starro get all her other crewmembers killed? Why isn't this addressed? Gah.

Uh, yeah, so, definitely not the best art or story going on in this issue, but it's relevant to my interests, so there you go.

Comments

[aloneindarknes7.livejournal.com]

I want to cosplay Pirate!Wonder Woman so badly now.

[victoria-wayne.livejournal.com]

If I wasn't already going to be a Scout for Halloween... I'd be that. It'd be so fun. You should do it!

[sara-lakali.livejournal.com]

Wikipedia is thin on the subject, but The Black Pirate is an old DC character from back when they did lots of different types of stories. He crops up now and then in time travel stories.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Pirate

[victoria-wayne.livejournal.com]

Should have known Wiki would know! Thanks, that's kinda cool. Wonder why I never noticed him before...

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

...okay, so the plot has holes and there's some dialogue wackiness (that half-face panel "So *of course* I became a pirate!" made me laugh aloud). And a few anachronisms like punk wedgie Amazons with plastic boobs in the 15th century. (Oh, nineties.)

But that Wondy outfit - even while some small part of my brain was going "Shoulderpads?" - damn, that's a happy place.

I am willing to sacrifice the cavalier hat, but really, shoulda made Steel wear it. (I miss Steel!)

[victoria-wayne.livejournal.com]

...and her pants look like skin-tight latex, anatomy weirdness... heh. Oh well! That one full-page spread is still win!

[staplerchild.livejournal.com]

That... was a bit of a mindfuck.

Also the sailors look pretty malnourished. :(