Shankie's House of Guns & Spandex

Must inevitably result in sharing! :D

Starting with just one shot from Red Son.

Because everyone knows Clark looks good in a uniform, right? Well, he looks even better in that kind of uniform.



Batman was a crazy terrorist in that one. You know. Like half of Elseworlds, only a little crazier than usual.

Now.

You know what really surprised me those most out of anything in a while? True Brit. Superman if he was raised in England. There are multiple references to Monty Python, and the whole thing shifts from farce to realism left and right. It's pretty darn funny.

This is just a little. Bat-Man revealed, farming with super-powers, and a suit-shot. Just because.

( Farming's easy! )

Next, Kal. A medieval setting in which Clark is generally shirtless/naked.

Seriously? The point of this book seems to be beefcake. So, here's some half-naked Kryptonian for you all.

( Naked and covered in molten metal. That's pretty hot. )

Lastly, Act of God. The lack of Wally in Elseworlds (for the most part) had me going back to this, because I really liked his part.

The superheroes of Earth have all lost their powers. In the middle of what they were doing, which is disastrous as you can well imagine. Flash was in the middle of stopping a bullet.

( Alcoholism! )

Clark is later found drunk in an alley.

Jeeze.

So, most of you have prolly seen an episode of a certain cartoon show called "The Man Who Has Everything." If you know what I'm talking about, chances are you might know it was a re-telling from an Alan Moore story, Superman Annual #11.

I knew this for a while and had that particular issue on the 'to read at some point' list. So I did, and it was great. I should have known; it isn't like I've read something by Allan More that I didn't like.

So. Stop me if you've heard this before.

Batman, Wonder Woman, and Robin go to the Fortress of Solitude, on the occasion of Superman's birthday, bearing gifts. I do believe this is the second time that Jason Todd meets Superman, but frankly, I think he's more excited to meet Diana.

( Think clean thoughts, chum. )

And just so everybody knows? Diana is wicked awesome.



Point of interest, these panels were translated nigh verbatim to the cartoon. Well, the whole "Hell" part was cut off by the blast. But! It just goes to show how freakin' neat Justice League is. As if I had to say it.

Also? Superman: Doomsday is also a good time, but for completely different reasons. It's the Death of Superman story, only funnier. Anyway.

( Batman starts touching Superman! )

"Well, frankly, it's dead." ::giggles:: I still can't get over the poor broken flower in Batman's hand. Superman is such a dick. I mean, it's not like he just went and picked it. He had it genetically engineered.

That's a lot of effort there, man.

So it took me a few false starts to actually read this all the way through. The premise? Barbara Gordon is Batgirl, twice as ruthless and decked out with cool toys than Bruce as Batman ever was. Bruce in this story is Bruce Wayne, foppish billionaire and basically Barbara's sidekick. He stands around in a suit in the cave and talks about chasing women while Babs has all the fun. Kara is Supergirl, who came to Earth as a teenager and was taken under Diana's wing.

Where's Clark? A test tube in Luthor's lab. ::shudder::

Anyway...

( Obligatory scan of Elseworlds Flash )

Check out the abs on Hawkwoman there. I wouldn't mess with her. At all. She's scary.

( Luckily, Diana is still smokin' hot )

So Lex is dating Supergirl. And Lex has been kidnapped.

She goes to Gotham seeking him out, and despite the required initial animosity Batgirl has for Supergirl, they get close.



The idea is, with Barbara as Batgirl, that she developed Oracle as a monitoring and computer architecture throughout Gotham before ever putting a cape on, so she's got eyes and ears everywhere. And doesn't allow metas in Gotham, so making a quick exception for our fair blonde? Interesting.

They find the test tube of ClarkFetus(tm) and get all pissed, and go after Luthor.

( One panel of teh creepy, and one of Batgirl expressing her feelings... )

Oh Barbara and her passion. She's always made an excellent creature of the night, and she was definitely the saving grace of a story that includes jacked-up Joker and more sexual innuendo than... well... DC Comics. ::laughs::

Oh, and, musn't forget to include silly foppy Bruce in this.

( Silly foppy Bruce )

So, it's halfway decent. Has its moments and all. But really, Babs is the only reason to pay any attention to this book. Especially when running around in her underwear. Kara's kinda blah, and I would have liked to see more of the Dr. Midnite with boobs. Is it just me, or is Hawkwoman about to grab her and carry her away to have crazy rough lesbian sex in the woods?

( Am I right? )

Elseworlds, how I love thee.

Especially with the gender-bending and all.

And in case you haven't had enough of just how hot Barbara is in this book...

In which putting on the Batsuit never looked so good.

P.S. All this has given me two big giant plot-bunnies of doom.