The Sex Lives of Superheroes: Commentary

[shankie]

Also from the commentary meme, The Sex Lives of Superheroes, for sasha_anu.

The story itself, and my commentary, has mature content, both het and slash. After all, it has the most absurd pairing list I've ever seen.


The Bad Idea

"This is the worst idea I've ever heard."

Kinda this line was a joke, to me. This fic literally came out of nowhere while I was writing some smut. I'd had vague inclinations to do something along these lines for a while, but it never went anywhere because I couldn't get it... right. It was always The Bad Idea. Simply because I couldn't apply it right.

It had been The Bad Idea so long, that when I finished this, I was well and prepared never to actually post it. But in a chat with wachey, I mentioned that it'd been the main reason a little project for her hadn't been done yet, and she wanted to read it.

"Even worse than..."

"Yes."

"Or that one time..."

"Yes, Wally."

"Or..?"

Bruce sighed and stormed out of the room, leaving Clark and Wally looking at each other. Clark shrugged.

So I went along, attempting to put as many pairings as possible with the Big Seven, and of course, the first one that came to mind was Bruce/Wally. So it started there and... expanded rapidly.

"Did you really expect him to be happy about it? He'd rather be an urban legend, hates the press."

I couldn't help but throw this in. The difference between comics and DCAU as far as Batman in the JLA is concerned, when it comes to publicity, is striking. After all, Bats was an urban legend for most of his career, and then all of a sudden he's with this big group and all over TV? Must hate it.

"This isn't exactly the press."

"No, it's worse."

"Is it really such a good idea for your girlfriend to be doing it?"

I needed to have the 'straight' guys in here, to balance out the rampant bisexuality that was inevitably going to be spawning; and within the founding members, John and Clark struck me as the easiest to play straight, and bringing in Lois would add extra baggage for many involved.

I'd never written Lois before, either. So it was a bit of practice, as well.

Edit: This is actually a lie, now that I think of it. She appears, unnamed, in A Flash by Any Other Name, as the bitchy woman who helps almost-blind Wally find can't-remember-he's-Superman Clark in the Daily Planet newsroom.

"Lord insisted. Her reputation and experience covering me will add to the impact in public opinion, I agree with him."

Oh, Maxwell Lord. I wanted him involved somehow, big time. The DCAU is still free of his insanity, he's still a baseline with flair and business acumen as a thing, as I'd just recently seen for the first time in his thing with Cadmus and the Ultimen. He's also just exactly the promoter to come up with an idea like this in the first place.

They were silent for a moment, as Wally scratched his head through the cowl, then snickered.

"Covering you."

This stupid dirty joke came right out of me writing Clark's line, then giggling, and realizing that if I took it that way, Wally would, too. Wally is very easy for me to write, because I just use myself as a basis for his dialogue and reactions to things about 75% of the time.

Clark raised an eyebrow and Wally tried to wipe the grin off his face, but ended up just contorting his lips oddly, then coughed and changed the subject.

"What they should really do is talk to Nightwing, I mean, he's got enough to fill ten books, and that's just the chicks."

Because seriously, Dick is a total manslut.

"He's not a member of the League," Clark said, then frowned. "Wally, you never..." Clark gave him a worriedly curious look, and Wally's eyes went wide.

"Oh Hell-no. I mean, Bats is like, his dad. That would just be weird." He paused, and Clark looked momentarily relieved. "Of course, that doesn't mean I haven't checked out the goods."

"You don't say."

"It's bad enough that we can never use the word "dick" in a sexual context." Wally shook his head, "I mean, I did once by accident, man. Might as well have dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. Went out and beat the crap out of purse-snatchers for hours."

Back when I started writing A Flash by Any Other Name, and got to my first smut bit, it was the first time I'd written men into sex. I had no idea what to do with the penis, as far as wording went. I knew I didn't want to use "throbbing cock" or anything, and I have similar problems with most ways of referring to that particular bit of anatomy. I just hate the terminology so much I can't use it.

So when I was working on those early scenes, it was a struggle to find a way to refer to an erection without using the word 'erection' over and over again. At one point, the word 'dick' got used in a scene, and I immediately deleted it; I thought, there's no way that Bruce is going to be okay with using his son's name during sex. And if it did happen, it would most likely make things very uncomfortable.

I never ended up writing that uncomfortable post-'dick' scene, but this is kinda a way of doing it that reared it's head the moment Clark mentions anything about Wally and Dick sleeping together. Which would be hot. But I don't think I'm ready to have him sleep with both father and son, if ever. He's a slut, but not quite that bad, I don't think. Maybe.

They fell into silence again, until Wally piped up again.

"Dick does have a really nice ass."

"We are so not having this conversation."


For Great Justice

The League council sat around the table uncomfortably. Shayera was actually rubbing her fingers together tensely, and even Bruce looked off-put.

"You know, he's still waiting outside," Diana said, "and despite my misgivings, I believe that this could be very good for us in light of recent events."

"And it's not like people don't already write about us having sex with each other already," Wally added. The rest of them looked at him incredulously. "What? It's called the Internet."

Yes, this was a joke about fandom. XD

With that, everyone looked back at the table.

"I think that this should be left up to those of us without secret identities," Clark finally said. "Diana? Shayera? GL?"

"I say we do it," Shayera said. "We're public figures, it's not so uncommon for such interviews to be done, as far as I've seen of your culture."

"I agree," Diana added.

John grunted noncommittally.

When I was going through this discussion, I had to make enough people go for the idea so that it was agreed, but obviously, it wasn't going to be everyone's favourite. So I cheated a little, and had Clark leave it up to those with secret identities; which is fair. It also made Shayera and Diana the deciding votes, both outspoken cultural outsiders who would be likely to agree to it.

"So it's decided?" Clark asked.

"Apparently," Bruce replied, sounding less than pleased.

"Alright, then."

Clark got up and opened the door, allowing Max to saunter in the room with a shit-eating grin and an unlit cigar rolling in his fingers, his shoes clicking on the metal floor and the cut of his blue suit jacket pushed back with one hand on his waist. Clark sat back down, and Max stood at the head of the table, gesturing with the cigar.

Most of this is done in dialogue, with almost nothing for description. Intentionally. Max, however, I couldn't help but describe. He's such a character that he demanded some panache when he first walked into the room.

"So, what's the word? Are you in?"

"Yes," Clark said with resignation.

"Fantastic! You won't regret this, what you people need is a good distraction, a good personally-oriented campaign, and this is just the ticket."

And the best part is, he's totally right; this strategy would work, and is used all the time in public relations.

"We're very interested in putting some polish on our image, that's why we've agreed," Clark replied, and gave Bruce a stern look when he snorted.

Yeah, I don't know what it was with me and having Clark say unintentionally dirty things. I think it stemmed from how hard I was playing him straight. Bruce being the one to snort was a reflection of how not-straight I was playing him, in his own dark little way.

"Everything's set up for next Tuesday at my New York office, one on ones." He grinned even wider and smoothed his brown hair a bit. "Don't you worry, after this, nobody is going to be thinking about your bad press."

"Great," John said sarcastically, "I can't wait."

J'onn looked like he was tempted to go back to Mars.


Superman

Clark sat down on the blue sofa, folding his hands in his lap and giving a warm smile over the desk.

I can only imagine that someone as big as Superman, with that uniform, looks terribly out of place sitting in front of a desk in an office.

"Hello, Lois."

"Superman," she said wryly, jotting a note on the pad of paper in front of her. "I think there's a few things we can skip over, such as a certain relationship with a certain Amazon, so we don't keep them waiting."

The line about Diana was altered a few times; I wasn't sure who I even wanted the reference to be about, at first, and then I couldn't decide how blatant to make it. I ended up being straightforward about it. All of the alteration was done after I realized I was actually going to present this.

Clark blushed and nodded.

"So how about we start with your teammates. Just how common is sexual activity in the League, that you've seen?"

He coughed and took a deep breath.

"Well, we do have a very high-stress occupation, and it's one way that some members have found to deal with the tension."

I kept thinking about boarding school when I wrote that part. All locked in together, in a high-stress environment... we all slept with each other all the time. It was like a law, despite actually being a fundamental rule violation. No orgies. Mostly dirty sex in random corners of buildings, but you get the idea. Amplifying that stress to a global scale? Makes this all very plausible in that way.

"Some?"

"Well... most." He paused. "Alright, all of them."

She smirked and jotted that down.

"Could you be more specific?"

He shifted in his seat and began rubbing his thumbs together.

"Uh, well... When the League first formed, just the seven of us, it was just flirting, mostly."

"Mostly?"

"Er, uh, well, Green Lantern and Hawkgirl were always very... close. When they weren't trying to kill each other."

"A very antagonistic pairing, so to speak."

Another meta reference. A lot of this was kinda just one big joke about fanfic, so I slipped in that little bit of descriptor that's often used for love/hate, most recently that I can recall with merfilly and her Cassie/Rose.

"And not the only one."

"Oh?"

"Yes, Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl have also had... that kind of relationship."

It was way too much fun, making Clark constantly awkward and totally farm-boy about talking sex.

Lois raised an eyebrow.

"Is that so."

"Well.... yes."

"A sexual relationship?"

"Not at first. But they've had a tendency to solve their conflicts rather creatively."

Reference to my Diana/Shayera femslash, Unburning Bridges.

Lois jotted down some more notes, and Clark bit his lip when she wasn't looking.

"And the other three?"

Clark looked at her for a moment and didn't say anything.

"Both J'onn and Batman don't appear to be likely to be flirtatious, but I've met the Flash." She smirked as she said Batman's name, and quickly tried to hide it behind a more professional expression.

After Wally gets a secret identity during his career as the Flash, a comment he makes is that it's like being a part of the biggest in-joke on the planet. I can only imagine this also applies to others who are in on it. It's easy for me to see Lois reading an article about Batman's latest exploit, snickering in her coffee about some sexual quirk he has.

He nodded slowly.

"Yes, the Flash is very... flirtatious."

Can we say... understatement?

"And is that all?"

Clark snorted.

"No. I think of anyone in the League, he's the most... active. Or at least, he was."

"Was?"

"He's, uh, since become more monogamous, but it took a few years."

"I see. With a member of the League?"

Clark licked his lips nervously.

"I'd be more specific, but I think that could be hazardous to my well-being."

Her eyes went a little wide with realization and the professionalism slipped for a moment.

"You're kidding!" she said unbelievingly, "no way."

"You're the one who dated him."

One time I dated this guy. Long story short, my friends never let me live it down. I can only imagine that Clark was like that about Bruce, if only out of some kind of weird super-jealousy, as I'm going with this whole denial bit for him.

"Cheap shot."


Batman

Lois sighed, leaning on her hand, giving Bruce a look of exasperation.

"Generally, an interview consists of the interviewer asking questions, and the interviewee responding, as I'm sure you well know."

Bruce folded his arms over his chest and continued standing in front of the couch silently.

"Perhaps the question's too difficult?" She said a little tersely, "I could give you an easier one."

"....."

Heh. I couldn't actually imagine Batman answering her questions clearly and honesty; especially since they're former lovers. I'm sure he would be thinking something like, there's no way I'm giving her MORE fodder.

She tapped the pad of paper with the end of her pen.

"You all agreed to this."

"Fine," he replied icily.

"It's about time." Lois prepped the pen over the blank page hastily. "Do you now, or have you ever, had a sexual relationship with another member of the League?"

"Yes."

"Could you be more specific?"

"No."


Wonder Woman

"It's wonderful to see you again, Lois," Diana said, walking in with her hands behind her back and a smile lighting in her eyes. "It's been too long."

"Yes, it has."

Lois returned the smile and gestured for her to sit, which she did, much as Clark had, but without the tense lines in her frame.

"I'll begin with the obvious; have you had sexual relationships within the League?"

"Yes," she said with a nod, "in Themysciran culture, it's very common, and encouraged, for warriors to release aggression and tension through intimacy."

Why DC hasn't grown the balls to just come out and say Themyscira is full of lesbians is beyond me.

"I see. Anyone in particular?"

"Hawkgirl and I have found it the best way to maintain a civil rapport, despite our... differences," she said, with a trace of frustration flickering through the statement. "I've had a similar relationship Huntress in her initial introduction to the League, as well as a less... different relationship with Black Canary on a few occasions. But she and I have been... close since before her membership."

The choice for who else for Diana to have been all girl-lovin' with was tricky. Making them both the other female vigilantes from Gotham in the League was a coincidence, that I later realized and added in; after all, Diana's thing for Bruce isn't necessarily just about him... Such is the nature of sexual fixations.

I went with Dinah and Helena because they're both very strong personalities that I could actually envision being involved with Diana without getting overshadowed by her.

"Did that have any impact on her joining, to your knowledge?"

"Oh, no, she is very much her own woman, and our relationship doesn't extend past occasional companionship."

"I can't help but notice those two are both vigilantes that operate out of Gotham City. Is that a coincidence?"

Diana paused, and looked tensely thoughtful.

"There is a certain... appeal to citizens of that city."

"There certainly is," Lois said quietly, looking down at her pad of paper. "Are all your relationships with other League members... are they just with other women?"

"For the most part. Batman and I slept with each other once, but it didn't end well."

"What do you mean?"

"We'd been sparring, and it became... sexual, on the way back to Earth. I believe because I'd bested him once again."

"Oh?"

"He doesn't take defeat very well, and I made the mistake of teasing him about it. Fortunately, I'm capable of flight."

"What does..?"

"We were in the Batwing at the time."

"He pushed you out of a plane while it was in the air?"

"To be fair, I should have seen it coming. He'd put his safety harness back on without redressing, immediately after I'd mentioned that I'd been intimate with the Flash and Superman on previous occasions. I believe it was a mistake to draw a comparison."

This sequence underwent much revision. First it was a comparison with just Wally, then I made it both Clark and Wally for extra unintentional zing-factor. Initially, he didn't push her out of the plane, they were fucking in the practice room on the Watchtower. But I love having these guys push each other from great heights.

Lois stared for a moment, then found the composure to shut her mouth.


Green Lantern

"Well, Mr. Stewart, you and J'onn are the only members that haven't yet come up in previous interviews, so my first question is, why is that?"

"That a fact?" He rubbed his ring a bit and looked vaguely amused. "I'm not quite as close to other members of the League, in that sense, as... some people."

The continued use of vague ways of skirting the group sex issue, heh. Lots of 'quite' and 'mostly' for both Clark and John.

"But you have had relationships?"

"We all have. It's hard to meet people outside of the League, especially lately. I'm not just the Lantern representative for Earth, but of the entire sector, so I don't have a whole lotta free time for that sort of thing."

But seriously, when's the last time a Green Lantern ever had a stable relationship? John's, despite being fraught with angst, is an exception.

"Is that common in the League?"

"Definitely. Some of us, with separate civilian lives, just have too much on their plates, but we spend a lot of time with each other."

"Are they usually open about it?"

"It's hard to hide a whole hell of a lot up there."

Another throwback to my days at boarding school. It was a community about the same size as the one that's on the Watchtower, including civilian employees, and keeping a secret was like hiding a giant bong in an empty room full of cops. Wasn't happening, unless you got really lucky and everyone else was looking in the other direction.

Lois nodded as she looked down at the notes she was writing.

"Who have you been intimate with?"

"Right now I'm with Vixen, have been for a while. And before that..." he looked briefly grim. "I was with Shayera, Hawkgirl."

"What happened between you and Hawkgirl?"

"The Thanagarian invasion," John replied shortly, to which Lois got an almost apologetic look.

Okay, so I make Lois a little bitchy here. She's a bitch a lot. Nyah.

Almost.


Martian Manhunter

"Miss Lane," J'onn said pleasantly as he sat down.

"Good to see you, J'onn."

"I must begin by clarifying something, in the interests of answering your questions within their proper context."

"Of course, please." She gestured with her pen and smiled.

"For Martians, relationships you would call sexual are not... done in the same manner, although I've taken various human personas with some partners."

"How so?"

"With another Martian, we would... blend. A literal union of two becoming one. And while humans do not have the same capabilities, I've had the pleasure of reproducing the sensations for both of us."

Unashamedly stolen from Chicago's J'onn/Bruce stories. If there's a canon basis for this, I'm not sure of it. It just seems like the most logical thing for shapeshifters that can control their molecular structure as J'onn can.

"Fascinating," she said, visibly intrigued. "How does that work?"

"I am able to... mesh with another, mentally and physically. A shared experience in the truest sense, on the molecular level."

"So... you actually go into their body?"

"Yes."

"How many times have you done this?"

"A few times, with two individuals in particular."

"Who?"

"Batman and the Flash."

Initially it was just Wally; and then I realized that I wanted to throw in a way that Bruce and Wally got together other than just assuming my Wally'Verse, because this is way different. Since they were one of the few actual couples in the story, I felt it needed some explanation.

"Oh."

She dropped her pen and it rolled across the desk, clattering to the floor and coming to a stop by J'onn's foot. He picked it up, and graciously handed it to her.

"Thank you."

"Have I made you uncomfortable?"

"Oh, oh, no, just a bit surprised," she said. "How did the it start, in both cases?"

"I'd explained the process to the Flash, and he repeatedly expressed genuine interest in the experience. It was very... different."

"Different?"

"His body's unique vibrational nature and rapid processes were quite... overwhelming. Pleasantly so, once I'd become used to it, and he was able to provide a great comfort. His mind is very open and heartening to experience in that way."

Someday, I will actually write this experience in detail, of J'onn and Wally body-melding.

"I... see. And Batman?"

"Happened later on. A particularly difficult period for the League, immediately following our first breakup of the group. The Flash suggested that if Batman and I were to overcome our mutual distrust held at the time, the League as a whole would benefit."

Being that J'onn and Bruce are very similar people, I saw that it'd be much easier for them to not like each other than like each other, at first. Before they developed a rapport that would, later on, in various League incarnations, be the subtle backbone of he group. Strong leaders do not often get along well without a catalyst.

"This was back when it was just the seven of you, right?"

"Yes. The group dynamic was much more... intense. I had reservations. My experiences of his mind were... troubling. Flash offered to serve as a counterweight, being rather insistent it would be the solution."

"You had a threesome?"

"You could call it that. Batman and I never were so intimate again, but I believe that was the start to their own relationship."

Obviously, J'onn is talking about intimacy on a mental level, not physical, as later seen with the whole group sex thing. Another skirty dodge of the issue, but this time an unintentional one that he just let stay there. I wrote him going there not quite knowing how to talk about this, being an alien and all, and just hitting it with blatant honesty, then getting a little gunshy once she's getting all flustered.

"Oh. So, how does that work?"

"What, specifically?"

Lois went back over her notes for a moment, with a stunned look on her face.

"Nothing, nevermind."


The Flash

"Man, what is it with you reporters and always checking me out? Like what you see?" Wally winked suggestively and leaned a little closer on the arm of the couch.

"I take it you've been intimate with a few people in the League."

"Kinda. I just kept asking and kept getting yes." He shrugged. "I mean, no harm in asking, right? And if they say yes, well, there you go! I mean, I like people. You know, a lot. And not people. Well, aliens are people, too. Especially J'onn. You talked to J'onn, right?"

Playing Wally more rambunctious and flirty than I do in my other stories was way fun. I had to make it believable that this person majority slept around in a healthy way, and wasn't just a sex addict. Despite having the most sex of anyone in the Council, I wanted Wally to be the one sexually confidant and adjusted one. Which I suppose can go hand in hand rather easily.

"Yes."

"So you know about that already, that's good, yeah. He was pretty great, I mean, I've never felt so close to anybody before that, you know? That whole meldy-thing? Man, that was great. I miss him sometimes, you know, even if we're still friends, and we work together again, you know. But he's married now. Did he tell you he was married?"

"Yes, it came up..."

"Yeah, she's awful nice. His wife. She cooked for us, and it was totally great. She was really understanding. Well, we didn't talk about Bats, because, well, we just didn't, you know? Oh, hey, what did he say?"

"Not much, really."

Wanted to play up the difference between Bruce and Wally to a Lois that never expected to hear this stuff. So not only did I have him ramble more than I often let him, but where Bruce said all of three words, Lois can barely get in a word edgewise to Wally. That's some feat.

"Yeah, he's like that. I know about, that thing, you know, with you guys. He told me about it once, like, a while back, when you were on TV for some reason. I forget now, but I remember it was right after I'd met this other reporter, Linda, and you kinda reminded me of her. We slept together, too, but she was mostly into the hero thing, you know, costumes? So we didn't see each other much, that gets old, I mean, I always do that. Even if you're not usually on TV, because you write for the Daily Planet, you still have that kinda vibe. I like your work."

"Thank you. Can I ask a question now?"

"Didn't you already?"

"I was going to."

"Sorry."

"It's... fine." She shook her head and chuckled a little. "You've had a few relationships outside of the council members, could you tell me something about those?"

"I wouldn't really call them relationships. I care about them and everything, because I care about everyone, even if we haven't slept together. That isn't like, the big thing to me, I'm not all weird and nepotistic about it, you know? I don't want to come off like that. But yeah, I have, really. I mean, there was a few times before the League expansion with those guys, and we all got really close, and afterwards, I guess it was kinda intimidating. I never really talked to anyone. And then, oh man.... Fire, you know Fire? I finally talked to her, really talked to her, and we hit it off, and that started. After that, I felt more comfortable around other guys, and got a little more confidant, and I just started going for it."

"So, how many other people?"

"What, you need me to count? Oh, well, there was Supergirl a couple times, we almost had, you know, a relationship, but it didn't work out. And then Booster Gold, and Zatanna... Well, you get the idea." Wally scratched his head through the cowl. "I'm not like that anymore."

When it came to deciding who Wally slept with, I was looking through a list of JLU membership and picked out the first three names that came up as likely candidates, and one unlikely candidate, that being Zatanna. That's a story I want to hear...

"What changed?"

"I grew up. I found... something better."

"Do you ever miss that?"

Wally shifted a little in the seat.

"They didn't tell you, did they?"

"Tell me what?"

"I'm not really surprised..."

"Flash, what were you going to say?"

She leaned forward on the desk, curiously.

"About our weekly orgy," he said quickly, then shut his mouth and looked worried. Lois looked a bit more stunned. "Seriously. Ever since the first time we all met, once a week, orgy, us seven. I do it because I like sex. They do it because they're crazy."

Up until this point in the initial draft of this story, the orgy wasn't a part of it. It was a total spur of the moment choice that I went back and made surprisingly few changes to accommodate. Initially, John and Clark were going to be actually and totally straight, with everyone else just being big bisexual sex-happy freaks. This is way better. XD

"And they didn't mention this.. why?"

Wally shrugged.

"I guess it doesn't count."


Hawkgirl

"Is it true that the seven founding members of the Justice League have group sex on a regular basis? Where even Superman is involved?" Lois said a little more cooly than she apparently intended, as she leaned back and tried to look neutral afterwards.

See? Lois letting that professionalism slip again. She certainly did it enough in canon. I feel justified in throwing in that bitter little bit in her question.

Shayera looked less than neutral. Her face flashed with fury and she leapt up, brandishing her mace.

"Why... THAT LITTLE SHIT!"

I can imagine this scene taking place a lot, for various reasons. Wally being Wally and Shayera being a hot-head.

Lois stood up as Shayera flew towards the door, smashing it open with a fierce cry.

"WALLY!"

"Uh-oh." Wally was standing, leaning against the wall talking to Bruce, and instantly froze. "Uh... Shayera... What's the big deal?" He relaxed visibly and held his hands up. "I mean, didn't everyone say they'd talked about everything else?"

Bruce stood up quickly and held a hand up in front of Shayera, and she came to a quick stop, still seething.

I wanted to have Bruce being the reluctant defender of his boyfriend, which didn't come through as much in the final, but meh. That was the thought. Like, hoo boy, going to go save his ass again... for later...

"He's right, Hawkgirl."

"Nobody knew! And he told her!"

"It doesn't matter," Bruce said evenly.

"Doesn't matter!?"

"No."

She stopped, pulling back.

"Why doesn't it matter?"

"Because we're the Justice League."

And they can do whatever the fuck they want. Heh. I initially had him saying something to that effect, then realized it wasn't necessary; I'd let the reader draw their own conclusions about why that worked so well. And that, if someone quoted him acting like the JLU were better than everyone else, it'd be bad, and he wouldn't do it publicly like that.

Shayera looked at him narrowly, then shrugged.

"Yeah. I guess we are, aren't we?"


Group Dynamics

"But seriously, it's not that big a deal! You're all just in denial." Wally turned slightly from his seat piloting the Javelin, shaking his head incredulously.

Sometimes, Wally really is the only stable one.

"Denial, Wally? We didn't think we'd have to tell you not to talk about that!" Shayera said, far from letting the issue drop if her glare was any indication.

"I thought it would be best not to mention it, once she took certain details rather poorly," J'onn added.

"Dude, you guys always act like it never happens, and I thought that was pretty weird, but I didn't think it wasn't actually considered real!"

"It is what it is, and what it isn't is an issue, we... It's different," Clark said, looking out the window, looking a bit miffed. "Way to go, Wally. Now she's furious at me, and I think we might be done this time."

"Over one fight?"

Clark laughed.

"Right. One fight."

Heh. Another reason I used the Clark/Lois bit. To make fun of it.

"Well... it is that time again," Wally said, with a smile growing on his face.

Everyone looked at each other for a moment, and shrugged.

"Council chambers?" Bruce asked.

"Sounds good to me," they replied in unison.

"And Clark?" Diana said, looking at him evenly.

"Yes?"

"Could you pay attention to someone besides Bruce for a change?"

Once this became well and truly a group sex bit, I wanted to throw in a little more on how that dynamic actually worked. The thought of writing a seven-way smutfest is daunting, but I could put in a few ideas on what would happen. The obvious choice was utilizing the bits of UST that come up now and then in the show with Bruce/Clark.

"I don't..."

"Actually, you kinda do," Wally said, raising an eyebrow.

Not exactly jealous, but definitely having an opinion about all that... Both Bruce and Wally. Heh.

Everyone nodded their assent, and Bruce smirked.


Conclusions

"I can't write this," Lois said, slamming her notes on Max Lord's desk, "do you have any idea what it is they do up there? This isn't going to even sound real!'

Another silly joke for me, because that was my line once this bunny reared its head in a big way.

"Lois, Lois," Max got up and put a hand on her shoulder, which she shook off, "Max is here, telling you, that it's going to be fantastic. This is the reveal of a century, just think! When you're finished..."

I had to have Max refer to himself in the third person, if only once. It's just so madly ego-centric I couldn't resist.

Lois just shook her head and left her notes on the desk.

"That's it, I quit!"

The initial draft of this story was done in a very short period of time, with a brief editing period once I decided it was going out there. So when I started getting feedback about how in-character everyone was, despite it being one big silly sex joke, I was kinda surprised.

Writing humour is a strange thing for me; it's like I can never do it directly, always indirectly, if that makes any sense. And I never cease being startled that I can ever pull it off, on any level, seriously.

So this, the story that was almost never posted, was quite a pleasant surprise all around.